A new baby. What a blessing to be able to hold, and as a mother, nurture a new baby. The smell and the feel of a newborn in your arms is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. God, in His grace, gave our family a little boy this past October. I love sharing with others the things about him that I adore. I love his little cow lick, I love the feel of his hand wrapped around my finger. I love his toes and baby belly, but most of all I love it when he is sleeping soundly. I just like to watch him sleep and pray for him as he grows and for his future.
Sleep. It’s what every new mother longs for. Although my little guy is a pretty good sleeper, he usually wakes up several times a night and reminds me that he is, in fact, still in my room and needs attention. Fortunately for me he usually just wants to be cuddled and fed, however it still interrupts my sleep enough to make me tired and in dire need of coffee the next morning.
While my days may be a haze of cooking, cleaning, feeding and arguing about unreasonable topics with my four year old (and wondering if I am losing my mind) , there are pockets of moments when I am able to find time for a nap. How wonderful is the sound of a quiet house on a Saturday afternoon in order to catch a few moments rest. No T-ball game, no appointments, no questions. Just quiet. It is during these moments that I most often find myself not looking to the pillow (or sofa, or floor, or anywhere I can lie down for that matter), I find myself looking and longing for the rest that I can only find in Him.
Not long ago I found myself in a different kind of unrest. The unrest of the mind from circumstances beyond my control. The worry, the waiting the frustration and pain of uncertainty that lead me toward restlessness and anxiety. It was during this time when I actually learned how to find rest in Him. I knew that I was ‘not to be anxious about anything, but in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make my request known to God -Philippians 4:16(NIV)’. I believed in God, and I believed in Jesus. Because of this belief I decided to seek Him and maybe for the first time really trust Him. One of the verses I would cling to in order to keep my mind on Him was Psalm 91:1 – 2 (NIV) Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty, I will say of the Lord, “he is my refuge and my fortress, my God whom I trust” Other verses like Psalm 23 and Jeremiah 31:3 all became verses that gave me rest. As I “turned my eyes upon Jesus, looked full in his wonderful face, the things in my world grew dim in the light of His glory and grace.” My peace was found one Saturday morning in the Fall. I awoke to the storm of life, but my heart was calm and my rest was in fact with Him.
Today, though my physical body is need of 5 solid hours of sleep, my mind rests soundly in the promise of His help. I am not always patient with my four year old and sometimes I’m frustrated with the demands of a newborn but God has given me the ability to find rest as I seek Him and find Him in the mundane of life as tired mom.